And that’s okay. Support from friends should look different than it does from your networking circle and customers. My friend does not listen to my podcast, and it doesn’t offend me or make her less of a friend. People always say that strangers support you more than friends and honestly, I am sick of hearing it. I don’t think it’s a fair statement. I understand how discouraging it can be to see something you have worked so much on not getting the return you want. But, I don’t think degrading friendships is appropriate.
I have friends who don’t listen to my podcast or show up to all my shows and they’re still my favorite people. They are still incredibly supportive, and I am going to tell you why. They’re my friends!
I am going to use this one friend as an example. One of my friends who doesn’t listen to my podcast is also one of my biggest supporters. That’s right. She supports me without listening to my podcast and she doesn’t ever have to listen for me to consider her supportive.
The truth is, my podcast wasn’t made for her and we both know it. While we have a lot of the same values, we have different interests when it comes to entertainment. We have different hobbies and are just two different people with a shared love for one another. We listen to podcasts for different reasons. Her path to healing and elevation is different than mine and equally valid and beautiful.
My friend doesn’t need to listen to my podcast. She has real life access to me where we spend time together and hours talking after attending events together. She has my number and my address.
So how is she one of my biggest supporters? She is one of my truest friends. When it comes to the podcast specifically, she tells people about it and shares information she feels may be helpful for me in my podcasting journey. Her faith in the purpose and power of Verbal Tea cannot be denied. What I believe people lose sight of when on new pursuits is how friends pour into us and hold us up all the time. How could I ignore and discount all our long, vulnerable conversations, the resources she’s shared with me for multiple aspects of my life and the joy she expresses for seeing me thrive in love, family and art? What sense does it make to discount everything that makes us friends?
Have we really become so transactional with something as beautiful and dynamic as friendship? Do the standard gifts of friendship not count as “support” anymore?
I don’t believe your friends should be automatic customers or listeners just because of your relationship. In my opinion, that is unfair and if I were in their shoes, I would rethink how you value me.
For example, I work from home, so I don’t wear a lanyard anymore. If my friend created a business for custom lanyards or pins, they would serve me absolutely no purpose. I am not the target audience for those kinds of products. Does that make me an unsupportive and a bad friend? I would certainly hope not. I hope it will count as support if I tell other people about their products, so the message could reach their target audience.
I don’t expect my friends and family to spend their money and time on things not made for them. I love them, respect them and understand them enough to know what they organically draws them.
Hustle culture has got us so tightly wrapped around its finger that we reduce friendships to financial and social gain There are a lot of layers to this issue that I can’t really cover in four minutes of reading time. If we don’t start correcting how we value one another, things are only going to get worse. The world is going to get lonelier. I don’t want to see that happen. I don’t have all or really any of the answers. But I do have some journal prompts that can help give us some perspective. When answering these questions, don’t think about your pursuits. Think about you as a person. Now, if your identity is your hustle, write about that first. That is something deeper to explore.
What does friendship mean to me?
Why did I choose the friends I have? What qualities make them good for me?
How am I a good friend?
How do my friends and I support one another as individuals?
I created Verbal Tea because I want us to reflect on how we think about things and work on our inner voices. When we treat ourselves better, we have the capacity to be fairer to others. Reflection is just one part of the process of growing and elevating. I am so grateful for all of you journaling with me. It has been a wonderful resource most of my life and this podcast and blog has enriched my journaling journey on a whole new level.
Now while you should not expect your friends to be your customers, listeners, readers, etc., you all are my people. I have a huge place in my heart for everyone who tunes in and I am always touched to hear how the conversations on the blog and podcast impact you.
With that said, we will still be friends if you don’t buy some Verbal Tea merch. But enough of you Tea Lights have asked for it that I finally got around to making some.
If you are into merch with affirmations, t-shirts or just love the Verbal Tea logo, head on over to my shop:
https://www.teepublic.com/t-shirts?artist_search=true&query=verbal+tea
As always, if Verbal Tea is making your days better in any way, please go ahead and leave a review. I have even made it easy by putting the form on this page! But the most important thing you can do as a Tea Light is to keep spending alone time with your thoughts. Keep writing, keep focusing on thriving and making your mind a strong and safe space for yourself.
P.S. Season three starts October 3rd, so stay tuned!