S2E7: Little Teaspoon- The Power of Your Inner Voice and Hearing Your Inner Child)

[00:00:03] Tell me, how did you get started with art? Well, I started painting about 2020 on furlough in the middle of the pandemic. I was on furlough from being a nurse. They were trying to decide whether they wanted to keep us an access out because they were

[00:00:23] trying to put out the loans that would not with the hospital so I had to sit at the house and I didn't know what that had to do with it. Hey, welcome back to Verbal Tea, the journaling podcast where we focus more on our inner voices

[00:00:42] than the voices of those around us. We've got a little teaspoon for you guys and you're going to want to tune in for this because we're getting raw and vulnerable as always. I'm Globe. And I'm Sherryne. And this is Verbal Tea.

[00:01:06] I'm so excited to get into a little teaspoon. So at the end of every month, we like to recap the month and we like to challenge ourselves to voice our journal entries and what we wrote about this month along with our guests. And this month, we covered freedom.

[00:01:26] I feel free. But you cannot free yourself until you free your mind. So, Sherryne and I, we covered our inner child. What our inner child needs to learn and unlearn. I don't know about you, Sherry, but this was an eye-opening thing for me.

[00:01:47] Yeah, it was definitely something that I did not... I wasn't prepared to write about, but when I was writing, I was like, ooh, I still got work to do. Okay. Yeah. I know it's because we're so both focused.

[00:02:04] If you guys don't know, Sherryne has her own podcast as well called the Blemish Beauty podcast. So we're both focused on mental health and doing that inner work. But it's so crazy how a new prompt will just unleash all of these other layers. Exactly.

[00:02:25] Like that prompt was just like, I thought it was going to be easy. And then as I'm writing, I'm like, okay, no. I got to do something again. Oh man, me too. I thought it was going to be easy and it wasn't.

[00:02:38] And I was like, dang, I'm not where I want to be yet. But I mean, if you are where you want to be, you might be a little delusional, maybe. Right.

[00:02:49] And then it tells you like, not where you want to be, but you're not where you were either. So it's like, okay, I can, I can, I can maneuver. I'm good. Right. Cause some of the things I was like, oh, I didn't really know that about myself.

[00:03:02] I thought this was a healthy thing, but actually. Cool. Well, what was the most surprising thing that you discovered when you wrote? What I needed to, let me see, unlearned. What I needed to unlearn.

[00:03:25] Well, both of them actually to be honest, they both had a equal level of, of. But I needed to unlearn and what I needed to relearn. And it's amazing how so much stems from your inner child that you don't know, you know?

[00:03:42] And then until you write it down or you say it out loud, it's like, oh, wow. Okay. That seems reacting to this, not me. Okay. Let me combat that and come about it in a little way. I like that.

[00:03:56] I would say the most surprising thing is that I think it's healthy that I'm critical. I think it's very healthy that I'm always looking for a way to grow. But when I started writing down what I need to work on for my inner child,

[00:04:11] it was like, I could see my little self just always discounting myself. And I remember a quote in my head from my father, like it triggered that memory of where I got it from. No shade to dad. Okay.

[00:04:26] He meant it in the most complimentary way, but he told me that I wasn't, I put it, I put it in here. He told me that I wasn't like naturally made to do anything, but that anything I put my mind to, I excel at it.

[00:04:43] And so like my talent is just learning skills. Like I don't, I'm not inclined naturally inclined for any skill. And so because of that, I, what? That's a compliment. Yeah. He meant it as a compliment, but for me everything I do, I feel like it's not

[00:04:57] good enough because it's like, I don't have that innate natural ability. So right, right. Always feel mediocre. Everybody has that one thing and you have whatever you put your mind to and so it's like, I don't have that one target thing that I'm good at. Okay.

[00:05:12] But shout out to Papa Mac. Shout out to Papa Mac. He meant it in the best way because he just kept seeing me do different things. He saw me do basketball, track acting really blew his mind. And he's just like, you know what? You could do it all.

[00:05:27] Like that's what's up. I guess it's just like, you know, have you heard of the Jack of all trades master of none? How I feel. Yeah. 14 year old me those words are like just like burned on me. But that's good though.

[00:05:45] So then you won't get well, you won't get bored because you have the ability to do certain things and then that probably showed up now that your older those things that you were good at that helps you tap into dealing with the kids like you play basketball.

[00:06:00] You did this. You did track you were running, you know, so at least you're not boring like, you know, your co-host over here. I'm not doing this. You are far from boring. You have a very full exciting life.

[00:06:14] You are in school, you work, you mommy, you podcast, multiple podcasts, your personality is so big everybody wants you and then also our life coach like. Yeah. Life is full. When you put it like that, it's full. Definitely full. Perspective perspective for sure.

[00:06:40] So what is one big thing that your inner child needs to unlearn? Okay, let me see you are here. So I said in regards to unlearning everyone is not going to hurt you. So for me, I have to unlearn that because you know

[00:06:59] growing up dealing with so much trauma. Usually the most trauma we feel is by the people that we love the most and growing up that allowed me to lose faith in people if I'm, you know, being honest.

[00:07:14] But I feel like now it's okay to let my guard down before when I got to the point where I wanted to let my guard down somebody showed me like, nope, told you that's why you can't do that.

[00:07:25] But now that I'm surrounded by a good group of people, I don't know if it's because I'm in the process of still doing my hailing journey. So when your eyes are kind of different, you see different. So when you're starting to heal, you're looking at things

[00:07:42] in a different way like we talked about with Nikki, you know, the freedom thing, the freedom aspect. I can pick better. So maybe that's why. So now I am in a position where I can be more open to trusting people that they're not going to hurt me.

[00:07:59] Maybe there's a lesson behind this instead of looking at it as a vindictive type of reaction. You know, like they did that on purpose. No, maybe it's just a lesson. You know, everything is not for everybody. You were meant to be this example for whatever reason

[00:08:16] to them not so much of what they've done to you. You know, I like that. I definitely had a phase like that where I grew up being the bubbly kid because I thought, you know, being the light to the world, you know, Jesus things.

[00:08:32] That was how it was. And then my heart got crushed by a friend in college and I trusted no one because everyone on the floor. It's so dumb. Everyone on the floor in the college door, I'm new with the betrayal.

[00:08:45] So that made me really close myself off because it was like a whole community that was supposed to be my friend and I'm buying them meals. We're having meals together. We're doing things together and nobody told me this was happening to me.

[00:09:01] And so I was like, everybody's out to get me. You know, like nobody really likes me. Everybody just wants to use me. I had that perspective. But as I started to heal myself, I started to recognize even what why the takers were takers, you know? Yeah.

[00:09:17] You don't take it so personally anymore. Yeah, exactly. It's not as more so about you and less about them. Exactly. You're meant to be a blessing to them and not so much than being a blessing to you. That part.

[00:09:31] And so I don't regret anything that I give now. I'm like, I was meant to give that. I was I was doing the best I can just like they were doing the best they could and that's that. Exactly. Yep. I totally agree.

[00:09:44] I love that but it is still hard. I do still get a little cynical. Just a little bit. But the response time, like I was telling somebody this the other day, I'm always going to be triggered, right?

[00:09:57] But the response time of me being in it and out of it has shortened. So where it would take me maybe a week to get over something now I might take me a day. Maybe as I continue to grow, I might take me an hour.

[00:10:11] So you're only going to be triggered by something and that's the thing that people don't understand. Healing is never 100%. Like you're constantly healing. You're constantly evolving. But the response time, you know, that's going to be the change. You know, you're going to be able to recognize, okay,

[00:10:29] this is my inner child. This is not me responding in this moment. So what do I do? I need to ground myself. Okay, I need to affirm myself. Tell myself this is not vindictive. This is not, you know, something that people are doing to try to hurt me.

[00:10:44] Like you said, like maybe this is just we're just not aligned in this way. Okay, move on. They're not a bad person. They're just not my person or they're just not for me. Yes. Once you start healing yourself and you're doing

[00:10:56] it, you know, aggressively, you start to recognize the holes in other people and you're like, oh, okay. And so some people think I'm being nice and I'm not being nice. The fairest thing to myself is to assess a person with perspective because if I don't that I'm

[00:11:14] taking it personally and I'm eating shame and I'm carrying all that, you know, having that perspective frees you. Yeah, exactly. Like Mahogany said on one of our roundtables, it's a Mahogany thing. So you got to learn what are your things as

[00:11:30] opposed to this person is really this way. No, this is your thing. This is how you're seeing it. So it definitely perspective is definitely. Yeah. And also that's something that we all can do and I've been working on that and I think

[00:11:43] it's very beneficial with my relationship with my children and my husband and my friends. I know who I am. And so if something fills away, I'm like for me, for me not in general for me for me. This is my limitation and so they don't have to

[00:12:00] even go through that whole process of being like, why not? And Kayla feels away about me, you know, I could just like it's for it's it's me. And this is where it's coming from. But okay, I like that because that is definitely

[00:12:15] something I think everybody can relate to is having a guard up like. Oof. You can you'll forget exactly what was said, but you'll remember how it made you feel and then just sticks there. Yeah, it will. Heavy. Cool. Well, yeah, see I put on here.

[00:12:37] I was like don't even get me started on podcasting like how I feel like a mediocre podcaster mediocre dancer mother whatever it is. I feel like I'm applying what I've learned, you know, but that I'm just not great. Like I'll never be great and that is something

[00:12:55] that's in my inner voice as well that I have to continue to combat with compassion. Yeah, you got to give yourself grace because you're doing the best that you can even like, you know, a lot of the times we have mommy issues, daddy issues.

[00:13:12] We have to understand that they were in survival mode. Yes, so how we perceive it, you know, they were just trying to survive. They was doing the best that they can just like you. So you have to give them grace and you have to

[00:13:27] give yourself grace because I'm pretty sure to your kids, you're not mediocre. You're way so bad. You surpass mediocre, you know, so you have to give yourself grace and to know that you're doing the best that you can and you're doing all

[00:13:41] that you can and you're still learning. You're still evolving. It takes people years like in a marriage and you could attest to this because you're married. It takes people years to get to know each other. You're going to be married 30 years and you're

[00:13:54] still one of our new things about your husband. So you're still going to learn new things about dance. You're still going to learn new things about, you know, your kids and being a mom and then with technology and new things that's out,

[00:14:06] you're always going to be learning and growing, but you're at the best place in the best space right now. So you're doing good. You're so sweet. I'm trying and that's what I say. I'm like, at least I am trying, but I'm trying

[00:14:19] to make myself feel like you can look forward and acknowledge room for growth without discounting yourself. And that's what I have to constantly remind myself. Don't discount yourself while you're acknowledging the room for growth. Yeah, because there's a lot of people that's doing worse off than you.

[00:14:35] At least you are around your kids. At least you are by your kids. You're loving on your kids. You have your kids, you know, like you have to not think about where focus on the negatives, but focus on positives, you know, you provide that

[00:14:50] space for your children to feel free to express themselves, give them a home, you know, not a house. So many children are displaced. They don't have that. They're looking for that, you know, that love that you provide them. So even with your dancing, there's people that

[00:15:06] are in wheelchairs. They would love to do what you can do. You know what I mean? So you have to think about the positives and not so much the negatives because you're doing good. See, you guys, this is why I love her.

[00:15:20] This is why this is what she does for me every day. Oh, I love that. And yes, just get a bit of the, what is it? The scarcity mindset because if you are always operating in the spirit and feeling of lack,

[00:15:37] you're just going to miss out on how to utilize the best, the resources you have now. Yeah, definitely. It's like that picture. You know that meme? I noticed how to move moment. Do you know that meme where the guy is there's

[00:15:54] like a whole bunch of wood and some guy is just like really upset, you know, about the wood because they're in a hole and he's just upset that there's just wood there with another guy after time starts to build a ladder to get out of the whole.

[00:16:10] Mindset is everything. Everything. I think it was good. It's another one too. The like the one, I'm trying. There's so many like they have two with the girl. One is on one side and she has this easy climb up. Like it's like a beanstalk let's say.

[00:16:34] And she has an easy climb up, but the reward is small at the top and then on the other side, it's the girl who has to go through all the thorns and as she's climbing she's getting frustrated and she's looking at the other

[00:16:47] person who has an easier climb up, but her reward is bigger. So it's all about, you know, mindset and just running your race because what's for you is for you. That part and that's like what this year is teaching me

[00:17:01] like I am capable and what I have is what I meant to have like this is my path. I don't need to look left or right. I need to just keep looking forward for me and inside of course. Exactly. Cool.

[00:17:17] Well, I did want to show people this because I said I would do it and I can't draw. So I don't know why I promised y'all that I would do this, but I did draw my inner voice. I drew my inner critic and my compassionate voice and I

[00:17:33] suggest everybody do this. Okay, because I didn't even know I was going to end up drawing two people. First of all, so it's kind of like, I guess like the devil in the angel thing. I was just about to say it's two to ninety shows when

[00:17:45] they have the two people on the side. No, it really is. That's where it comes from. So okay you guys, I'm just going to show y'all real quick and then I'll just get to it. I can't draw. I can't draw. Okay. Girl, you do better than me.

[00:17:57] I'll do stick people. I wanted to, but I wanted to get her clothes just a little bit. She has a frown like you. I love it. I'm proud that both of them have a fro because I feel like 10 years ago one would have had straight hair.

[00:18:12] So there's some growth there. So this is what the exercise was. So I made my inner critic. I drew her and then I drew like some statements she said. And then I drew my compassionate voice and my compassionate voice was responding to my inner critic.

[00:18:34] It's you guys y'all got to do it and you get as detailed as possible. I wish I could draw better because this drawing is not as good. So on the back here are the details I couldn't really draw.

[00:18:46] So my my inner critic, she has a planner in her hand and she's like everything is your fault. You need I just put you need you need you need because that's like what she's always saying like you need to do

[00:19:00] this and all you have to do is this and you're a lot and you're so emotional. So my inner critic is she acknowledges the power I have. Like we can't lie about that now because that's where we're on our journey.

[00:19:14] We know that we're capable, but instead of her acknowledging it in a compassionate way. I just am like, you know better. So you should be doing this right now. So it's like shame almost like a long roundabout way of calling myself lazy and that I'm not doing enough.

[00:19:31] So that's what my inner critic is always doing or my compassionate voice, which is really sheer. You know, at this point, she's like you can. But you can but pace yourself. You have already done this so you will get to it when you get to it.

[00:19:55] And then of course with me being emotional says you are honest with your feelings, which my goodness is so far I've come so far with that. I have have not always been honest about my feelings and instead of saying that I'm a lot there's

[00:20:11] so much so much to love about me is what it says so much more about you to love but the fashion y'all. If you guys do this, please draw an outfit. Imagine imagine what your critic wears and then just imagine what they wear.

[00:20:28] Don't even think about your compassionate voice then draw what your compassionate self wears at least as a feminine presenting purse anybody that's feminine presenting do this because there's so much labor and how we present ourselves. Tell me why my compassionate voice has a t-shirt on.

[00:20:48] She has a t-shirt on with like affirming words. Okay, so as you're saying this, you know, I got a visual but I'm just saying this my critic or inner critic has on pants and she's very this orient like the devil wears Prada thing.

[00:21:07] She's that and then my most everyone the compassionate with God. She's like an Erica by do gear like she got the long dread big pants and like this night full crop top and she's just chillin. She's just then like nothing's bothering her and she's

[00:21:25] just like you know, you got this you good. Yes, like yes, like she's see how different it is. See how mine has a long flowy skirt. So almost Erica by do and she has on a waist beads.

[00:21:40] I imagine I made myself like oh my gosh where my critic she has on what I feel comfortable in not what I feel like what I feel comfortable in just like presenting not what's actually comfortable for me having like a sweetheart short dress but apparently I'm comfortable

[00:22:03] in a crop a crop t-shirt and a long flowy skirt. So my inner critic would be what the world would perceive like their their view of me what a CEO looks like what a the professional side looks like what success looks like

[00:22:25] as opposed to the other side of me this is happiness. This is the real what success looks like you being unmovable you being able to just be calm and you know being able to exude femininity in the room like just chill. So yeah, that's really good.

[00:22:45] I see I can't draw but I can I can give you. See I had to write down that I want to her sitting down my compassionate voice is sitting down you know, but yes it's like like you said one is the perception

[00:22:58] of success and the other is knowing you're already successful. Like what would you look like if you were Steve jobs and didn't have to worry about your outfit every day what would you be wearing to exactly that's your compassionate

[00:23:12] voices outfit now Mike I want to dress like my compassionate voice right and I wonder if you do that with that change your like your whole five like if you put those clothes on you should try it. Have you put your clothes on how would you feel like

[00:23:32] would that change your whole mood and then if you put the other clothes on with that make you and see an apprehensive do you think I think so because I've actually been changing my relationship with my clothes there used to be this thing about being an outfit

[00:23:46] repeater and I'm like I put on what I like and I think it's a blessing since I've had so many body image issues I think it's a blessing to have something like that I've had so much that I'll wear it again.

[00:23:58] And I know the green skirt that I was drawing here like have a green skirt like that and I need more like that have a green one and a white one I need to get one in every color and my my t-shirt the t-shirt that I drew

[00:24:13] doesn't exist but as a shirt that says my will is stronger than my doubt so that's officially going to be the first t-shirt verbal t-shirt cuz I want to wear it. I want to see what it's like cuz everything I wore in my compassionate voice were

[00:24:31] things I created or things that affirmed me and I want to just do a challenge and try that for like a month and see what happens. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, this weekend just like Erica might do. Let's see what happens.

[00:24:50] I get off early so I'm definitely going to do that. I'm alive because you know what when I do podcast a little behind the scenes. I like candle and I have to have the smell like it's a certain aura in the room like if you there's no

[00:25:06] like there's just a ring light. There's no like over life like it's just really zen and mellow because I want to exude that in my episodes, you know, I want to provide that safe space like that sanctuary so I try to set the room

[00:25:21] so we can come out on the microphone. Oh, I like that and I like how how you present yourself is on your podcast is different than how you would at your job because this is your sacred space. I love it. Yes. So this weekend.

[00:25:38] Let's get our Eric about it one. We have to do episode. We're gonna have to do one with our other clothes and then the other one and our. I think I like that. That's a good idea. Okay, look at us. Look at us.

[00:25:58] Well, we didn't want to hold you guys too long, but we wanted to just be vulnerable and honest with you before we go though. I guess we should do with something to sip one. Should we? Of course. All right. Let me introduce our last segment something to sip

[00:26:16] on. All right. So are you going to go first or am I going to go first? I'm going to let you go first. Give me time to think. All right. Okay, let me see. I think I wrote it down. So my something to sip on is this.

[00:26:41] You don't have to write out your inner voice and your compassionate voice, but you should meditate on what it would look like if you were compassionate to yourself. I challenge you just to think of what you'd be wearing, how you would talk, how you would treat people

[00:27:00] and what would a day in the life of your compassionate self look like if you were to embody it completely. Daydream about it. You don't have to do it, but at least daydream about it and consider it. And I promise you after you're done, it will

[00:27:13] convict you to want to walk in those shoes. I love that. Don't walk by the way. Of me, it's like a to go to go to you. Well, I would say take a week to sometimes a month is too long.

[00:27:32] Take a week and just live in the moment. Like just learn how to show yourself grace and know that you're not going to do everything perfect. But at the same time, you're doing it and that's all that matters. Surround yourself with people that pour back into you

[00:27:51] as much as you pour into them and show up in spaces that make you feel whole and not drained. So I would say take that week, whether you start today or tomorrow or even start of the week Sunday or Monday and get back to finding those things that

[00:28:10] make you happy, whether that's journaling. It should be journaling or coloring or listening to music tap into the good side of your inner child. When you were a child, you didn't have any cares. You didn't have any worries.

[00:28:25] You just lived like so take that part of the inner child and just live like. Oh, I like that. I'm going to do that. I already know I'm going to get the bubble machine going. That's what I'm going to do. I love that. That was perfect.

[00:28:42] This has been a beautiful episode. It's so cool to do little teaspoons with an amazing person. Before we go though, we want to keep this party going on social media and our day to day. So I'm going to let Shira say how she can stay in touch

[00:29:01] with you guys or how you guys can keep in touch with her. Okay, you guys, you can stay in touch with me by tapping into the Bluemish beauty podcast every Tuesday and Thursday. The audio drops at midnight 12 Eastern Standard Time.

[00:29:17] And if I am doing the interview, they will be 7 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Facebook and on YouTube. Yes, and you guys want you guys want to tune into that. Okay. My nine to five is not the best, but it keeps me lifted

[00:29:35] when I get to hear her episodes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So definitely tune in. And as always, you can keep up with verbal tea at verbal tea time on Tic-Toc and Instagram and then verbal tea on YouTube or anywhere you stream podcasts.

[00:29:49] Until next time, you guys focus on thriving instead of surviving. Be intentional with your thoughts and be well.