My stepmother texted me about getting my father custom socks for Father’s day this morning and while I know she was being sweet, it tickled me. It has always amazed me how mothers get the works for Mother’s Day and fathers get ties and tools for Father’s Day. But, if fathers didn’t get that, it is likely that they wouldn’t receive anything at all. As a matter of fact, less than 20 percent of fathers were even receiving gifts in1936 before New York Associated Menswear Retailers decided to use the holiday to boost their sales. (I’ll place the links to the fun history at the end of this entry, if you like learning information like that because I am going to move on now)
There is always an endless debate of the value of fathers versus mothers. Anyone who studies psychology on even the most surface level has heard that a bulk of our problems root from our childhoods, specifically the relationship we have (or don’t have) with our parents. I certainly have a lot to say about fatherhood and my relationship with my father. I am still unpacking all the ways my father has impacted my inner voice and “Daddy issues” is too common of a title for me to think only I can benefit from tackling this topic.
So, the launch of Season Two is covering fatherhood. I am always proud of my lineup and this month is no different. I am speaking with two fathers with completely different backgrounds because I am intentional when it comes to highlighting varying perspectives. My first guest is a father who didn’t have a close relationship with his own father but is not allowing that to limit how they pour into their four-year old daughter. My other guest is a father of adult children and is a proud grandfather.
I wanted to keep it vague but, I am too excited. The second guest is my father and why I am keeping this entry short. I don’t want to spoil everything. My parents divorced when I was young and they were still in their twenties, so there is a lot to say about the journey we have had. I remember when my father was my age because I was already journaling regularly. I remember his hairstyles, his commitment to the church, how different his second wife was from my mother and more. I have written about him more than I have ever written about any man in my life, so the recap is going to be a hearty one for sure.
My father always wanted socks and pajamas for Father’s Day though, so my stepmother’s idea is a great one for him. When I was about five years old, my father had one of those airbrush and printed shirts with a photo of myself and my father that said “We love Daddy,” and he made it abundantly clear that was his favorite shirt. But, not every father is like that.
I see so many men say fathers are undervalued and misunderstood and so many mothers and children expressing they need more. How do we bridge the gap? I don’t have the answers, but I do have some prompts for you.
For Everyone:
- How do you define father?
- What impact did your father have on your life?
- How can my feelings about fatherhood/my father challenge me to improve my relationships (platonic, familial, romantic, financial, etc)?
For Fathers:
- How has fatherhood impacted your life?
- What do you want your children to understand about you?
- Do you feel misunderstood as a father? If so, how?
- What choices can you make to help those you love better understand you?
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Oh, and here is the link the gives a brief history of the fall and rise of Father's Day: https://www.vox.com/2015/6/21/8816187/fathers-day-ties